Occasionally, I use this space to reflect on the passing of a notable musician or composer, someone whose contributions deserve to be remembered long after they're gone. Today, I want to talk about my friend Kit Gill, who lost her long, hard-fought battle with cancer on Monday. Kit wasn't a musician – in her younger days, she was a fashion model and editor – but I've never met anyone who cared more deeply about music, or was more generous towards those who made it.
Kit loved all of the arts: music, dance, fine art, fashion. But opera was her passion, and she was a regular presence at the Met, as well as opera houses around the world. (She boasted of having attended 26 consecutive Bayreuth Festivals, which is a lot even for Wagner fans.) If Kit enjoyed a particular production, you could bet on seeing her at every performance, including dress rehearsals.
In many ways, Kit was unapologetically old school. She had no cell phone, no computer: only a fax machine (!) and a landline. She would send me reviews the old fashioned way: by clipping them out of the paper edition of the Times and sending them snail mail. But, Kit was no fossil. She read widely, and pursued her own blend of radical (chic) politics, finding solidarity with everyone from Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, to the Occupy Wall Street movement.
Kit had hundreds of friends and thousands of stories that rivaled those of Forrest Gump. There was the time she had the entire Bolshoi Ballet over to her 1820's farmhouse in the Berkshires for a vodka-fueled party after their performance at the Pillow. There were the late nights singing karaoke in SoHo with René Pape. Or weekends spent hanging out at Max's Kansas City with her friend Bobby Short. Or how the billionaire Edgar Bronfman – whom Kit dated after her divorce – would fly up to the Berkshires and land his helicopter on her croquet lawn.
Improbably, I fell into Kit's rarefied circle of friends. We met in 2011 at a reception hosted by the Wagner Society - of which she was Vice President – at a restaurant near Lincoln Center celebrating the Met's new (and, according to Kit, loathsome) Ring cycle. I'm not entirely sure what Kit saw in me – perhaps she was excited at the prospect of recruiting someone who wasn't in their 70's, or wearing plastic horns. Before long, I was paying Kit regular visits at her richly decorated apartment on 5th Avenue, where she alternated between serving me glasses of wine (she didn't drink herself) and fighting to keep her dogs Happy and Nikki off of the upholstery.
Kit lived life at full-tilt. When she called, her voice exploded into the phone. She didn't walk, she marched: double-time. And, she drove just as fast, which I discovered with some degree of terror the first time I rode with her up to the Berkshires in 2012. It was just three months after her only son Rob died in an avalanche while skiing in Alaska, and I'll never forget the incredible strength she showed as she told me the story, refusing to surrender to any display of emotion. Only once did Kit pause for the briefest of moments before going right back into the story. (Ben Clark's documentary "The Alaskan Way" portrays the incident in gripping detail.)
Her generosity knew no bounds. In addition to being her +1 at the Met more times than I can remember, she helped me get tickets to Bayreuth for the first time, and when I returned, she published my account in the Wagner Society's newsletter. Once, she let me borrow her red Audi to pick up a friend in New Hampshire and bring them back to Sandisfield – about 400 miles round trip. Another time, after her doctors told her she couldn't leave the city because of her chemo treatments, she insisted that I take her car and drive up to the Berkshires myself. In all, I must have stayed with her more than a dozen times, for which she never asked for anything in return.
I did what I could to pay her back, bringing her to concerts at Carnegie and Tanglewood, including the premiere of Written on Skin in 2013. ("That was really something!" she exclaimed afterwards.) Two summers ago, I surprised her by buying her a modest television after her old tube tv conked out, which she only accepted after a full day and night of protest.
Fittingly, the last time I saw Kit was in December at the Met, when we saw James Levine conduct Placido Domingo in Verdi's Nabucco. I tried getting in touch with her several times after that, but she never picked up the phone or called back. I soon heard from others that she wasn't responding to them either. Like the former model she was, Kit was always guarded about her appearance, and didn't want anyone seeing her less than her best.
Yesterday, I got one final dispatch in the mail from Kit. It was an envelope with my name and address written in her unmistakable hand, as firm and clear as the day I met her. Inside was a card with a photo from her modeling days, youthful and striking, along with the following message:
"To my favorite friends
I was very happy to know you in my life
Now a final goodbye
And tell you how much I will miss you.
Yours always, Kit"
Even at the end, she insisted on having the last word.
Godspeed, Kit. Days at Tanglewood and nights at the Met won't be the same without you.
Wonderful Story.
Wonderful Story.
Wonderful Story.
Wonderful Story.
Wonderful Story.
Wonderful Story.
We miss her too – thank you for this wonderful and honest remembering of Kit. She would have loved it.
We miss her too – thank you for this wonderful and honest remembering of Kit. She would have loved it.
We miss her too – thank you for this wonderful and honest remembering of Kit. She would have loved it.
We miss her too – thank you for this wonderful and honest remembering of Kit. She would have loved it.
We miss her too – thank you for this wonderful and honest remembering of Kit. She would have loved it.
We miss her too – thank you for this wonderful and honest remembering of Kit. She would have loved it.
Thank you for this. I can’t believe she’s gone. Your words are so accurate. I am missing her so much. A summer without visiting her in the Berkshires, quick catch up phone calls, and tracking each other down at dress rehearsals. And the dogs… All too much.
Thank you Steven..wonderful piece for a dear dear friend and a person of incomparable generosity and spirit. We have published in the local newspaper, Sandisfield Times,(April issue) an article on Kit from her friends here in the Berkshires. I will send it to you. Hope you do come to the Berkshires and visit. gratefully, Barb (Penn)
Thank you, Peter, for this wonderful tribute to my sister Kit Gill. I really appreciate it. We grew up very close, even shared a double bed, as she was 11 months younger than I was. You certainly captured her strong spirit better than I could right now, so I shared your article on FB. A gift! Nancy Gill McShea
Peter- Your musical adventures with my Aunt Kit were added in so often to her daily reports when we spoke. Thank You for being such a great source of friendship and inspiration for her .She is irreplaceable and her courageous spirit has touched us all so deeply……
Thank you for writing this beautiful piece on Kit Gill! And thank you all who posted it & have been writing tributes to her as well!
Your description of Kit & her wonderful aura is perfectly expressed! She was really one of a kind & I am honored to have known her!
We would/could talk for hours about Opera; we had a special rick in Central Park that we would meet at….
I miss you Kit;looking forward to share more memories with ALL of you, Jacqui D.
Thank you, Peter, for your beautiful remembrance. Kit Gill was kind, generous, beautiful, inspiring. Her presence will be greatly missed, but her spirit will never be extinguished. Days in Sandisfield will not be the same with out her, either.
Great tribute, Peter. Thank you!
Thank you for this. I can’t believe she’s gone. Your words are so accurate. I am missing her so much. A summer without visiting her in the Berkshires, quick catch up phone calls, and tracking each other down at dress rehearsals. And the dogs… All too much.
Thank you for this. I can’t believe she’s gone. Your words are so accurate. I am missing her so much. A summer without visiting her in the Berkshires, quick catch up phone calls, and tracking each other down at dress rehearsals. And the dogs… All too much.
Thank you for this. I can’t believe she’s gone. Your words are so accurate. I am missing her so much. A summer without visiting her in the Berkshires, quick catch up phone calls, and tracking each other down at dress rehearsals. And the dogs… All too much.
Thank you for this. I can’t believe she’s gone. Your words are so accurate. I am missing her so much. A summer without visiting her in the Berkshires, quick catch up phone calls, and tracking each other down at dress rehearsals. And the dogs… All too much.
Thank you for this. I can’t believe she’s gone. Your words are so accurate. I am missing her so much. A summer without visiting her in the Berkshires, quick catch up phone calls, and tracking each other down at dress rehearsals. And the dogs… All too much.
Thank you Steven..wonderful piece for a dear dear friend and a person of incomparable generosity and spirit. We have published in the local newspaper, Sandisfield Times,(April issue) an article on Kit from her friends here in the Berkshires. I will send it to you. Hope you do come to the Berkshires and visit. gratefully, Barb (Penn)
Thank you Steven..wonderful piece for a dear dear friend and a person of incomparable generosity and spirit. We have published in the local newspaper, Sandisfield Times,(April issue) an article on Kit from her friends here in the Berkshires. I will send it to you. Hope you do come to the Berkshires and visit. gratefully, Barb (Penn)
Thank you Steven..wonderful piece for a dear dear friend and a person of incomparable generosity and spirit. We have published in the local newspaper, Sandisfield Times,(April issue) an article on Kit from her friends here in the Berkshires. I will send it to you. Hope you do come to the Berkshires and visit. gratefully, Barb (Penn)
Thank you Steven..wonderful piece for a dear dear friend and a person of incomparable generosity and spirit. We have published in the local newspaper, Sandisfield Times,(April issue) an article on Kit from her friends here in the Berkshires. I will send it to you. Hope you do come to the Berkshires and visit. gratefully, Barb (Penn)
Thank you Steven..wonderful piece for a dear dear friend and a person of incomparable generosity and spirit. We have published in the local newspaper, Sandisfield Times,(April issue) an article on Kit from her friends here in the Berkshires. I will send it to you. Hope you do come to the Berkshires and visit. gratefully, Barb (Penn)
Thank you, Peter, for this wonderful tribute to my sister Kit Gill. I really appreciate it. We grew up very close, even shared a double bed, as she was 11 months younger than I was. You certainly captured her strong spirit better than I could right now, so I shared your article on FB. A gift! Nancy Gill McShea
Thank you, Peter, for this wonderful tribute to my sister Kit Gill. I really appreciate it. We grew up very close, even shared a double bed, as she was 11 months younger than I was. You certainly captured her strong spirit better than I could right now, so I shared your article on FB. A gift! Nancy Gill McShea
Thank you, Peter, for this wonderful tribute to my sister Kit Gill. I really appreciate it. We grew up very close, even shared a double bed, as she was 11 months younger than I was. You certainly captured her strong spirit better than I could right now, so I shared your article on FB. A gift! Nancy Gill McShea
Thank you, Peter, for this wonderful tribute to my sister Kit Gill. I really appreciate it. We grew up very close, even shared a double bed, as she was 11 months younger than I was. You certainly captured her strong spirit better than I could right now, so I shared your article on FB. A gift! Nancy Gill McShea
Thank you, Peter, for this wonderful tribute to my sister Kit Gill. I really appreciate it. We grew up very close, even shared a double bed, as she was 11 months younger than I was. You certainly captured her strong spirit better than I could right now, so I shared your article on FB. A gift! Nancy Gill McShea
Peter- Your musical adventures with my Aunt Kit were added in so often to her daily reports when we spoke. Thank You for being such a great source of friendship and inspiration for her .She is irreplaceable and her courageous spirit has touched us all so deeply……
Peter- Your musical adventures with my Aunt Kit were added in so often to her daily reports when we spoke. Thank You for being such a great source of friendship and inspiration for her .She is irreplaceable and her courageous spirit has touched us all so deeply……
Peter- Your musical adventures with my Aunt Kit were added in so often to her daily reports when we spoke. Thank You for being such a great source of friendship and inspiration for her .She is irreplaceable and her courageous spirit has touched us all so deeply……
Peter- Your musical adventures with my Aunt Kit were added in so often to her daily reports when we spoke. Thank You for being such a great source of friendship and inspiration for her .She is irreplaceable and her courageous spirit has touched us all so deeply……
Peter- Your musical adventures with my Aunt Kit were added in so often to her daily reports when we spoke. Thank You for being such a great source of friendship and inspiration for her .She is irreplaceable and her courageous spirit has touched us all so deeply……
Thank you for writing this beautiful piece on Kit Gill! And thank you all who posted it & have been writing tributes to her as well!
Your description of Kit & her wonderful aura is perfectly expressed! She was really one of a kind & I am honored to have known her!
We would/could talk for hours about Opera; we had a special rick in Central Park that we would meet at….
I miss you Kit;looking forward to share more memories with ALL of you, Jacqui D.
Thank you for writing this beautiful piece on Kit Gill! And thank you all who posted it & have been writing tributes to her as well!
Your description of Kit & her wonderful aura is perfectly expressed! She was really one of a kind & I am honored to have known her!
We would/could talk for hours about Opera; we had a special rick in Central Park that we would meet at….
I miss you Kit;looking forward to share more memories with ALL of you, Jacqui D.
Thank you for writing this beautiful piece on Kit Gill! And thank you all who posted it & have been writing tributes to her as well!
Your description of Kit & her wonderful aura is perfectly expressed! She was really one of a kind & I am honored to have known her!
We would/could talk for hours about Opera; we had a special rick in Central Park that we would meet at….
I miss you Kit;looking forward to share more memories with ALL of you, Jacqui D.
Thank you for writing this beautiful piece on Kit Gill! And thank you all who posted it & have been writing tributes to her as well!
Your description of Kit & her wonderful aura is perfectly expressed! She was really one of a kind & I am honored to have known her!
We would/could talk for hours about Opera; we had a special rick in Central Park that we would meet at….
I miss you Kit;looking forward to share more memories with ALL of you, Jacqui D.
Thank you for writing this beautiful piece on Kit Gill! And thank you all who posted it & have been writing tributes to her as well!
Your description of Kit & her wonderful aura is perfectly expressed! She was really one of a kind & I am honored to have known her!
We would/could talk for hours about Opera; we had a special rick in Central Park that we would meet at….
I miss you Kit;looking forward to share more memories with ALL of you, Jacqui D.
Thank you, Peter, for your beautiful remembrance. Kit Gill was kind, generous, beautiful, inspiring. Her presence will be greatly missed, but her spirit will never be extinguished. Days in Sandisfield will not be the same with out her, either.
Thank you, Peter, for your beautiful remembrance. Kit Gill was kind, generous, beautiful, inspiring. Her presence will be greatly missed, but her spirit will never be extinguished. Days in Sandisfield will not be the same with out her, either.
Thank you, Peter, for your beautiful remembrance. Kit Gill was kind, generous, beautiful, inspiring. Her presence will be greatly missed, but her spirit will never be extinguished. Days in Sandisfield will not be the same with out her, either.
Thank you, Peter, for your beautiful remembrance. Kit Gill was kind, generous, beautiful, inspiring. Her presence will be greatly missed, but her spirit will never be extinguished. Days in Sandisfield will not be the same with out her, either.
Thank you, Peter, for your beautiful remembrance. Kit Gill was kind, generous, beautiful, inspiring. Her presence will be greatly missed, but her spirit will never be extinguished. Days in Sandisfield will not be the same with out her, either.
Great tribute, Peter. Thank you!
Great tribute, Peter. Thank you!
Great tribute, Peter. Thank you!
Great tribute, Peter. Thank you!
Great tribute, Peter. Thank you!
Thank you Peter. Beautifully said.
She was my hero ❤it was a blessing to be with her this last week of her life- I will hold my memories close to my heart.
Thank you Peter. Beautifully said.
She was my hero ❤it was a blessing to be with her this last week of her life- I will hold my memories close to my heart.
Thank you Peter. Beautifully said.
She was my hero ❤it was a blessing to be with her this last week of her life- I will hold my memories close to my heart.
Thank you Peter. Beautifully said.
She was my hero ❤it was a blessing to be with her this last week of her life- I will hold my memories close to my heart.
Thank you Peter. Beautifully said.
She was my hero ❤it was a blessing to be with her this last week of her life- I will hold my memories close to my heart.
Thank you Peter. Beautifully said.
She was my hero ❤it was a blessing to be with her this last week of her life- I will hold my memories close to my heart.
Wonderful Peter. True grit was Kit. Forever in our hearts A privilege to have known her.
Wonderful Peter. True grit was Kit. Forever in our hearts A privilege to have known her.
Wonderful Peter. True grit was Kit. Forever in our hearts A privilege to have known her.
Wonderful Peter. True grit was Kit. Forever in our hearts A privilege to have known her.
Wonderful Peter. True grit was Kit. Forever in our hearts A privilege to have known her.
Wonderful Peter. True grit was Kit. Forever in our hearts A privilege to have known her.
Thanks so much, Barbara. Would love to get a copy! I’ll send you an email separately with my contact info.
Thanks so much, Barbara. Would love to get a copy! I’ll send you an email separately with my contact info.
Thanks so much, Barbara. Would love to get a copy! I’ll send you an email separately with my contact info.
Thanks so much, Barbara. Would love to get a copy! I’ll send you an email separately with my contact info.
Thanks so much, Barbara. Would love to get a copy! I’ll send you an email separately with my contact info.
Thanks so much, Barbara. Would love to get a copy! I’ll send you an email separately with my contact info.
I just ran across this. I knew Kit both through music , but especially through our dogs in the park. Over many years and,for me, two dogs, I would cross paths with her in the mornings in Central Park before 9am. I always was so happy to see her and feel her amazing spirit. She was also most generous to the Mannes College opera. I miss her very much.
Elena Mannes
I just ran across this. I knew Kit both through music , but especially through our dogs in the park. Over many years and,for me, two dogs, I would cross paths with her in the mornings in Central Park before 9am. I always was so happy to see her and feel her amazing spirit. She was also most generous to the Mannes College opera. I miss her very much.
Elena Mannes
I just ran across this. I knew Kit both through music , but especially through our dogs in the park. Over many years and,for me, two dogs, I would cross paths with her in the mornings in Central Park before 9am. I always was so happy to see her and feel her amazing spirit. She was also most generous to the Mannes College opera. I miss her very much.
Elena Mannes
I just ran across this. I knew Kit both through music , but especially through our dogs in the park. Over many years and,for me, two dogs, I would cross paths with her in the mornings in Central Park before 9am. I always was so happy to see her and feel her amazing spirit. She was also most generous to the Mannes College opera. I miss her very much.
Elena Mannes
I just ran across this. I knew Kit both through music , but especially through our dogs in the park. Over many years and,for me, two dogs, I would cross paths with her in the mornings in Central Park before 9am. I always was so happy to see her and feel her amazing spirit. She was also most generous to the Mannes College opera. I miss her very much.
Elena Mannes
I just ran across this. I knew Kit both through music , but especially through our dogs in the park. Over many years and,for me, two dogs, I would cross paths with her in the mornings in Central Park before 9am. I always was so happy to see her and feel her amazing spirit. She was also most generous to the Mannes College opera. I miss her very much.
Elena Mannes
Thanks so much, Elena! Wonderful to hear from you – she used to tell me all the time about her encounters walking Happy and Nikki in the park. Glad to hear you were one of her doggie pals! 🙂
Thanks so much, Elena! Wonderful to hear from you – she used to tell me all the time about her encounters walking Happy and Nikki in the park. Glad to hear you were one of her doggie pals! 🙂
Thanks so much, Elena! Wonderful to hear from you – she used to tell me all the time about her encounters walking Happy and Nikki in the park. Glad to hear you were one of her doggie pals! 🙂
Thanks so much, Elena! Wonderful to hear from you – she used to tell me all the time about her encounters walking Happy and Nikki in the park. Glad to hear you were one of her doggie pals! 🙂
Thanks so much, Elena! Wonderful to hear from you – she used to tell me all the time about her encounters walking Happy and Nikki in the park. Glad to hear you were one of her doggie pals! 🙂
Thanks so much, Elena! Wonderful to hear from you – she used to tell me all the time about her encounters walking Happy and Nikki in the park. Glad to hear you were one of her doggie pals! 🙂